Told you so

One very bestestfriend.
One guy.
Two close friends.
One clique.

Somehow, i dont know.
I miss R alot.
I mean, he have always been there for me.
But, i just lost him.
Stupid me.
Wait, not just. 3 months ago?
And i guess i was never there for him.
So, i know how it feels.

Now, im kinda like in his place.
So yeah.
I know he wont want me back as a friend anymore.
Dont matter.
Still, everytime i think about it.
It just hurts.
God, why did i have to..
Just makes me breakdown everytime i think about it.

----

So in class, i just read teenage magazine.
This is what happens when my mind's disturb.
i dont care about teachers.

So, i came across to this page about
Things to consider before being in BGR.

Are you sure you really love him/her? Is this relationship what you really want?
Can you take anything that comes your way, especially rejection from friends and family?
Are you willing to be committed and do anything to make it work?
Are you sure that he/she feels the same way about this issues as you do? (:

And i also read about problems people encounter.

There's a few thats like mine. haiz.
One of the advices.

Friendship Boundaries.
Dont expect friends to keep your secrets if you yourself can't shut up. Some information are best kept under wraps. Dont mistake your friend for a psychiatrist, doctor or counsellor. Friends are there to offer support, loyalty and love.

Please dont ask me why i bother to write it all down. :/
Its for my own reference.

I noticed that many of my friends treat me more like their counsellor.
So yeah. Doesnt matter.
Please read those in bolds.

I havent been getting, support from them.
And thats why.
Somehow I just wish theyd understand me.
Look deeper in me.
And ask me questions even if we're not in good terms.

But i dont know why they're like that.
Id thought theyd try to understand me.
Maybe, its just.
Its all, just not right.
highlight, if you wish.(:
--

Dont ask me why, i just feel like dying right now.
Life's a total mess.
And i really cant stand it.
Being in class 24/7 would make my day.
Cause i wont need to show my face to the world.
--

In class was fun.
Cause i have James, JS, Dominic to cheer me up.
Including Sylvia and Yun Ting.
Plus dearest Amalia.

I hope, Amalina's okay now.
(:

okay, so yeah.
I doubt anyone knew i was not okay today.
Cause i just smiled.
Yeah.
haiz.

Dont really know what to do.

I guess,

i'll quit blogging,
quit listening.
Quit talking.
Quit sleeping late.
Quit being sad.
Wait, might as well,
Quit living.

Well, maybe.
should be.
--

I need tomorrow badly.
Gosh, kill me.
someone?

need a new guy bestf.
Lost 3 this year.
And for the first time,
all this ever happened.
Coping stress is hard.

I'd just wish,
theyd bother.
or understand..
at least.
:'(

Yeah, i suck
Everyone's just friends.
TOP UP FAST LA YOUUU.
IDIOTXZSXZSXZSX.
ergh. H.

& now i have to go return money to the class.
erghhh. 15 buckzcxzsxz only. geez.
stress!

Labels: Possibly Dead by now.